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Paper Trails

Turning Lead into Gold

The Paper Trails Blog is a personal memoir of exploring conscious play and self-inquiry through theory thirteen. It captures the research, experiments, and insights gained along the journey to deeper self-awareness and transformation.

The Doorway Painting

Updated: Aug 7

I Purchased a black canvas as a trial run for getting familiar with painting again… as I’d like to paint my street-side studio door… in that old timey style… so that pedestrians... get a glimpse of this beautiful pattern...


The Doorway
The Doorway

The Current doorway has Gold Suite Numbers... so Gold has always been the inspiration... I'm trying my hand at painting circles in various ways... what feels most natural and looks the best... In addition... to straight lines and angles... so I can do a pin-stripe like border on the window of the door...


It is proving more challenging than I imagined… things never turn out… quite like I SEE them in my mind… like my vision... is just taking me in the direction... of the next thing… OR... I just don’t have the skill or patience to invest in execution of excellence… or perhaps excellence is imperfect... more like a spiral than a circle...


the doorway black canvas

I rarely love my drawings when they start out… I hear my inner dialogue telling me… I’ve done it all wrong… and think I’m going to hate it… but experiential=ly ...I know it is part of the process… Therefore... I put that voice to sleep… and keep at it… until I resonate with whatever I am creating... as being "complete"


flower of life on canvas
flower of life on canvas

Today while practicing design ideas for my vintage glass studio door… I realized that I got lost in the process… different than drawing my creative mind maps… I didn’t seem to have the same relationship with my inner dialogue…


I’ll keep an inner ear out… the next time I paint and observe …what seems different about it…


Regardless… painting was a great use of my time… and I’d like to do it more regularly… always have a painting going… that mirrors my Current Mind Map... in this case it would be the [k]NOW thy Self Mind Map.






This product of creation.. is in process… and will take more time and sessions... than drawing... I’ve already made so many happy little mistakes… they’ve turned into spHEREical trees… rather the roots... like making my geometry too small for this giant black canvas…


Sacred Geometry border

I left room around the sides... to practice the pinstripe edges and corners of the glass window… but ultimately my flower of life ...on this canvas... is too minuet on the page… so I get to try something new… add the edges of the vector Equilibrium around it…


This is where I started today… at the beginning of the day with a chai latte and this [k]NOW thy Wave Playlist...



know thy self spotify playlist

I was able to correct my shaky border... "flaws" ...using them as the backbone or foundation… the ridges to another dimension… or frame in this case… I’ve decided to paint a shadow frame around whatever will be the geometry art… giving it a deep field of depth…


golden flower of life

I enjoy the contrast of the dry black canvas to the glossy paint... it gives me the same sense as shading with lead... so I am favoring the choice of a black canvas... and the dry foam brush... but I will need some paint brushes to turn this exploration... into a finished painting...



Base Layer of Shadows

Stay Tuned... in the meantime check out the original of my latest Quantum MeMoir Mind Map sketch...





I really enjoy taking my time with this painting… sitting back and starring at it… wondering …how it will develop? …what will be the next stage… sort of like how I navigate my life… always aware …of when I am at the next door or chapter of something…



Still at the edge of understanding… if it is a comedy or a drama… I see faces in many ways… and often in things …that are thought to be faceless… I still sense their individual unique presence…


It is interesting how we can look at the same thing… and have completely different experiences… a comfortable notion… that our own weirdness …is in a spectrum of colors…


I love novelty… sometimes going out of my way to shake things up and loose… stepping outside of the box… I often find myself in… I’ve over indulged the last few weeks… in celebration of our new home and creative space downtown…


I have been standing in the doorway of decadence and excellence… trying to have it all… swept up in the pleasures… we humans have created for ourselves… even at the expense of our own health…


So I am reminded of my studies… years of mind maps… written to direct my story toward the light of day… that I’m more than a persona of consumption… I’m a conscious creator… aware of the multiple dimensions of human depth…


For me… my story is the journey …wavering around the middle path… experimenting with my cause and effect…


I wonder how others see things… literally… when I look at things I notice my focus narrows into one aspect or piece of the puzzle… where when my husband looks at some he pays more attention to the full picture… it’s not that I don’t notice the larger field of experience… because I very much do… many times to the point of over stimulation… which perhaps has to do with my point…


When I look at the door… I don’t see the door… I notice the handle… mailslot… panel corners… or a smudge on the glass… instead of the door itself… which can take away from the obvious… like the numbers on it… or that someone is on the other side…


So while I have not had an opportunity to get back to my painting… the Doorway and [k]NOW thy SELF are still on my mind… part of my experience…



Back to it… I knew that painting long straight lines would be difficult… so I purchased these gold leaf markers… as a back up.. and wow they are sharp… I love them… and although I know it’s not good for me… I kinda like how they smell…


Now I’m on hold with this one until I can find some clear shiny paint… to give a glass effect on the inner frame edges… then I think it will be complete…


I’ve also decided to do the actual doorway in stages… I am going to do the pin stripping first… and come back to the geometry logo in the middle… once I get a better process for painting the spheres…



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The Quantum Memoir practice has changed my life. I’ve been going along with the cycles (Earth, Lunar, & Solar) for nearly 6 months now, and I can honestly say I’m more in tune with my true self than I’ve ever been. I’m able to flow through my days intentionally, I’m able to identify and process through those challenging seasons, growing through them and finding purpose. Knowing what my life aspirations truly are, has allowed me to weed out choices much easier, leading to meeting goals quicker, and finding that Peace (one of my aspirations) I’ve longed for within my life journey.

Jennifer

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